Why is it so hard?!?!?

So I knew it had been a while since I last posted but when I came to write a post, I found a draft from over a year ago. It is still applicable so I figured I would just edit it and make it the relaunch of my blog.

Why is it so hard to stay on track? I know I feel better when I eat better, exercise, skip the soda and drink plenty of water but it hasn't been enough to keep me on track. I have committed to working out again and while I haven't been perfect, I'm determined to have it stick this time.

I'm 34 years old and I haven't felt comfortable in shorts since I was 18. Once I stopped cheer and drill team, I was still fit but not as defined. My freshman year of college, I got to where I didn't like to show my knees. I didn't wear a swimsuit out very often either. Looking back I was still in good shape and looked fine but I couldn't see that then. Over the years it has just gotten worse. This past year something changed though. I know my body doesn't look great, I don't feel as good as I did all those years ago and I am certainly not where I want to be but I'm finally feeling comfortable in my skin.

I'm not sure what brought on the change but I think it was buying shorts. I went to Ross last summer with a very good friend who I know will be completely honest with me - I know that I look good if she gives it the thumbs up! She talked me into trying on a pair of black Bermuda shorts and she assured me that they looked good. While I was self conscious at first, I soon realized that it felt good to be in shorts again and I stay cooler than I do in capri pants! I now wear my shorts all the time and only pull out the capri pants when absolutely necessary. This summer I had to buy new shorts and it was a challenge but I found more that I really like and feel good in.

In December my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and she completed her chemo in May. It has been an experience that has had a big impact on me. It has helped to change my attitude and I was doing pretty well for a while around the house and with my workouts. I have been off and on lately and it is so dang frustrating! I think I tend to push too hard for perfection and to much change at once. I'm trying to adjust my ways of thinking so that I can find success that sticks.

I'm looking forward to an upcoming vacation followed immediately with school starting for our kids. I'm looking forward to routine again and I know this will help help me. Right now I'm focusing on exercising and eating in every meal. Our goal is to only eat out maybe once or twice over the next 3 weeks. I'm planning to update once or twice a week on how things are going, the exercises we are doing and what we have been eating. I'm hoping this will be additional help in keeping me accountable as well as maybe helping someone else on their own journey.