Saturday, August 22, 2015

3 Months Later

It has been 3 months since my last post.  I'm not proud of this at all. I do have a few things I am proud of and a few revelations as well.  

Lets start with the rest of May!  I continued to stay mostly on plan with my food and I worked out here and there.  Around the end of May to early June, I hit the 15 pound mark and this was pretty darn exciting! 15 pounds gone!  At the beginning of June the kids and I headed to Granbury to spend some time with my family and possibly go on a trip with them.  Once we were in Granbury I started to cough and I knew right away that it was bronchitis again. I also knew that if I hadn't been coughing for at least 10 days that the doctor wouldn't do anything. We were gone for about a week and a half.  We traveled to West Texas and had a great time. I continued to watch what I was eating but aside from walking, there wasn't much exercising going on.  Later in June I went to the doctor and started to get better. 

I had good intentions in July but the time got away from me and I still wasn't feeling great.  I have endometriosis and the pain I have with it is starting to get really bad again. I had surgery in August of 2002 and slowly the pain is getting bad again.  With August has come preparing for our son to start kindergarten and all the emotions that go with this new chapter.  Through all of this though I'm very proud to say that I have maintained a 12 pound loss. I was feeling slightly bloated when I weighed too.  I have tried a couple of times to get back on track but I have failed myself.  Aaron and I like working out together but he has worked some extremely crazy hours.  I have to just workout when I can and let him workout when he gets home while I prepare dinner.  I know Aaron will have success just by me having a great dinner cooked, giving him his shakeology in the morning and sending him to work with a great lunch.  From there hopefully we can workout again together as the schedule allows. 

Today I have seen one of my favorite bible verses posted by people I know.  I'm guessing God is trying to tell me something. The verse is Phillipians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus." 
I started off so strong and had some great results.  I continued to loose weight and then I slowly started to sabotage myself.  I'm beginning to think that I have a fear of meeting my weight goal.  I have a LOT to loose and I worry about what will happen if I have excess skin.  My first results have given me nothing to worry about but I worry anyway.  I think that I will never look as good as I did before, so why bother.  But this is a lie to some degree.  Yes I have stretch marks and yes I may end up with excess skin but that doesn't mean that I can't look good and feel good in my skin.  Sure I may have to wear a one piece swimsuit with board shorts from now on but I know when I'm smaller again I will feel much better in that than I do now in the same thing.  I will feel better in my clothes and I long for the day that I feel comfortable in shorts again.  Texas is HOT!  My husband is the only person besides myself that I care about when it comes to being naked and he loves me now.  That maybe TMI but it is the truth and that is how it should be.  I'm very grateful for his support though all of this and I pray that we will be working out together again soon instead of at different times.  The bible verse has always been a favorite but it is a great reminder to turn my worries of failure and success to God.  I just need to keep going for my healthy and sanity and the health and sanity of my family.  God will take care of the rest.